PATRICIA
You are unique
Hi, this is Patrycja – an ordinary girl, daughter, wife, mother.
As a little girl, I was very outgoing and full of joy. I was always and everywhere full of activity. From a very young age, my grandmother, who often took care of me, instilled in me the values of love and faith.
Thanks to this, I had no difficulty making contacts with people. I also had no problems with my studies at school.
Despite a system that teaches competition, that judges people according to a set scale, I did great. I was also the life of the party.
I think it was because I didn't judge and always helped those less fortunate. I did it selflessly. I was also very independent from a very young age. My parents call it stubbornness. I think it required a lot of patience on their part. Sometimes they even felt embarrassed because of me.
At school, everyone knew me. I was often told I was special—and I felt it. I often performed on stage, first in school competitions and beyond. Of course, I won everything. Later, in my senior years, I was nominated as the only kid to serve on the jury.
I haven't been slim since I was a child.
Everything in my life was good, except for one thing. I wasn't thin. The harder I tried to achieve something, the more I heard my peers call me "fat barrel" and other such names. I didn't tell anyone. I was ashamed. I became increasingly aware of the fact that I didn't look like other girls.
I was told I was just maturing earlier.
As I got older, this aspect became increasingly important to me—as a girl. Lack of self-acceptance.
These words killed me
As a young girl I went to scout camps.
At one of the camps, while sleeping on their canoe in a tent, our counselors threw a party in our tent.
One of the bridesmaids was sitting at the foot of my bed. Someone asked, "Who sleeps here?" She replied, "The fat one with the big nose." I pretended to be asleep. Those words killed me. It was as if something inside me had died. I continued to pretend to be asleep, but inside I was howling with despair.
I wanted to go home as soon as possible, lock myself in my room from the whole world.
Financial problems began at home
My dad owned a construction company. He was doing well and was always honest. One day, I overheard my mom talking to him on the phone. We were visiting my grandmother. My dad stayed home because he had to finish a project on time. It turned out he hadn't been paid a penny. My dad wanted to take his own life that day. My mom and I were 500 kilometers away. Luckily, my mom knew who to call. A friend of my parents' intervened.
From then on, Dad was never the same. There was not enough money in the house for anything.
My mother kept borrowing money from friends so we could eat.
